Perhaps I'm new at this whole "missionary" thing, but it's quite an interesting mentality to have. As I wrote about before, life goes on-- I do laundry, I do my dishes, I eat, I rest, I have leisure time. Amidst the ministry is the daily routine of personal upkeep. These are the same elements of my life back in America, but with a different perspective. It's hard to realize that most of the people I encounter on a day to day basis (other than the team) do not know Jesus and will not go to heaven in their present condition. How does anyone handle the weight of that? Part of me wants to realize the reality of it, to really realize what "forever in hell" really means, in order to respond with a heightened sense of passion and purpose. But part of me thinks it's the grace of God that we don't realize the full weight of eternity; perhaps it would be too much to handle. I think the reason why so many missionaries give up is because every day is a spiritual and psychological battle. One can easily become overrun with this thought until they burn themselves out, or one could completely shut it out and not realize the importance of our job in this world as Christians, taking a "leisure approach" to life in the mission field. But while the reality of hell is a sobering thought, God is and will be glorified-- and we can confidently hope in that. God is in control, and more than that He is good. Maybe God gives us blinders, like blinded horses going through a crowded street or a burning building so as not to get spooked, so that we do not see how we are impacting eternity.
All we can do is trust that we are. Or rather, that He is through us.
And in the meantime,
There is laundry to do. And the garbage to take out. And sleep to be slept. And when the time comes, witnessing opportunities to be taken with confidence and love. And lastly, our prayers and worries are given to God, the only one who can change hearts.
And that's all we can do.
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