The Just Will Live by Faith

I continue to learn that one of the hardest things about being a missionary is to TRUST and BE STILL.  There is so much to do and I want to do it all, I feel pushed to do it all.   Love and guilt have never been so difficult to distinguish from each other.  How difficult it is for me to maintain a healthy lifestyle when I always feel I should be praying more, always giving up more, always working more.   But, like Luther, God reveals to me again and again that there is no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus and that the righteous will live by faith.  I also felt better after talking to some of the missionaries.  One gave the advice to not be involved in anything your first year; just watch and learn.  Please pray that I can find a healthy balance between work and rest, ambition and stillness, not giving in to thoughts of guilt but knowing the Spirit's prodding and following it.  Americans understand this struggle more than anyone, maybe, because we are always always always busy.

God quieted my heart last night and faithfully reminded me that His grace and mercy are so much bigger than my insufficiency.  While I only see my failures when I look at myself, He sees me perfectly through Christ so that my sin isn't there and all that remains is love.  Christ died so that I don't have to be guilty anymore.  Why continue to live in guilt?

One of my favorite books is Song of Solomon because it shows the love Christ has for His bride, His Church:

"Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
and come away,
for behold, the winter is past;
the rain is over and gone....."

"You are altogether beautiful, my love;
There is no flaw in you."


(the Beloved:)
"Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised."   Song of Solomon 2,3,8 (various verses)




Before my computer battery dies, a quick update:

--  I have been seeing an 82-year-old woman who I met while I was biking.  She only speaks Taiwanese so we only communicate through motions, but she brought me into her house and fed me.  She also pointed out all the places where water is leaking into her house (she is very poor).  I'm going to see what I can do to help her out. We enjoy each other's company at least, and it's fun to listen to her talk animatedly to me in Taiwanese as if I understand every word.   I've learned how to say "Jesus loves you" in Taiwanese!  We'll see what God will do, as she is definitely Buddhist.

-- I'm tutoring a 9th grade girl who is from a Christian family but wants nothing to do with Christianity.  I am praying and looking for opportunities to talk about Jesus in my life, as she obviously looks up to me and is opening up more and more.  I love my time with her each week and it brings me joy to connect with the young girls here.

-- My Chinese is slowly but gradually improving.  I can carry on simple conversations.  The hardest part is learning characters, so before that I'm learning bopomofo, the Mandarin phonetic alphabet.

That's all the battery I have for now.  Praying for you at home!

Anna

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